Okay. It's Love Day, people.
If you remember my post from a week ago, I'm doing a project on Love for my Doctrine and Covenants class. For part of my project, I'm going to be sharing my experiences with loving others on the blog every Wednesday.*
I've learned a lot about love this week. I think that when we have a true desire to learn, God either places us in more situations where we can do so, or he opens our eyes to what we could have been learning all along. I've been praying for a better capacity to love others as He loves them, and in doing so, have noticed a tremendous change in my life.
The most important thing I've learned this week is that you don't have to agree with someone to love them.
A difference of opinion is never a reason to hate someone.** For some reason, I've been placed around a large number of people that I just cannot agree with on multiple topics lately. When you have a personality as big as mine, and opinions that are even bigger, it's really difficult to allow yourself to lose an argument. It's nearly impossible for me to back down when I really feel as though I'm right. It is really easy to decide that the other must be just a bad person and not worth my time.
This thinking could not be more flawed. We are all children of God. We are all equally important to Him, and because we are commanded to love others as He loves them, no one ever deserves to be dismissed.***
If God can excuse the imperfections in me, I can excuse them in others.****
So for the second part of my project, I want to hear from you. I would love it if you would comment on these posts with the ways that you have loved this week, if you've seen true Christlike love in action, or any insights on love you may have. I would really love to know what you think!
So, how have you loved this week?
* I looked away from my keyboard while trying to type this sentence and this is what I ended up with: "tDoe pER OD RHW PEOJWXR, i'M FOINF RO VW AHeinf my wzpweiwnxwa qirh locinf orhwea =======" I'm a really skilled typist.
**There are actually very very very few reasons, if any, to actually hate someone, and this is definitely definitely definitely not one of them.
*** This being said, there are times when people really should not be given the time of day by you. These are few and far between, but it happens.
****And on that note, is a difference in opinion really an imperfection? Isn't it great that we can disagree and still get along. Just imagine what life would be like if we all agreed on everything. Nothing new would ever happen. Life would be absolutely boring.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
Modesty: An Open Letter to all LDS Parents, Teachers, Leaders, and Young Women
In case you haven't gathered this information already, I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am a Mormon, and have been my entire life. From the time I was a little girl, I was taught that I should be modest*. The concept of modesty always just made sense to me. I was more comfortable when I was covered up, and felt as though others were more comfortable around me.
When I turned twelve and entered into the Young Women program at our church, modesty started to become an even more emphasized topic. I don't think I could possibly count the number of modesty lessons I've had in my life. However, I could definitely count on one hand the lessons I've had where I went away feeling good about dressing modestly. Every single other time, I've left feeling completely overwhelmed with what is expected of me as a woman. I have been told by many church leaders that I will be held accountable for inappropriate thoughts boys may have about me if I am dressed immodestly. As young LDS women, we have all been repeatedly taught that it is our responsibilities to keep boys' thoughts pure.
While it true that we can all help each other be better- and maybe being modest is one way to do that- no one will ever be held accountable for someone else's thoughts, actions, or feelings. This is a fundamental principle of agency, which is one of the most important aspects of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As a young woman, it's hard enough keeping my own life on track. It's absolutely ridiculous that we are taught in such a way that we feel responsible for anyone else's salvation, let alone an entire gender's.**
So, parents, teachers, and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
Urge your young women to be modest. Teach them that they don't need to be immodest for boys to like them. Show them that you don't need to be immodest to be cute or fashionable or cool. Help them to believe that their spirits and personalities and minds are the most beautiful parts about them. Let them know that they are so much more than their bodies. Teach them to be modest because they should want to be respected. Help them realize that dressing modestly is something they should only do for themselves, because doing something for anyone else is not a good enough reason to do anything. ***
And now I speak to you, Young Women:
You are a wonderful and divine creation. You should want to demand respect from all people, because you deserve it. If you feel that your body is the only reason a boy will like you, I promise you that you are wrong. You will someday find a boy who will love you and want to be with you for your wonderful mind and beautiful spirit. Most importantly, if a boy ever treats you inappropriately, has an impure thought about you, or does anything you cannot control, remember that it is never your fault. You can only control yourself, and you will only be held accountable for your own thoughts, actions, and decisions. Yes, you should be modest. You should be modest because Heavenly Father has asked you to. You should be modest because you want people to notice your mind and heart and soul and humor and eyes and laughter and smile and ideas before they notice your body. You should be modest for you, not for anyone else.
It all comes down to this: Modesty is about self respect. It's about knowing you are more than your body. It's about respecting God's creations. It's about knowing who you are, where you came from, and where you're going.***
*Modesty, in this situation, means having a well-groomed appearance, with clothes are not revealing in any way. For more information go to http://www.lds.org/topics/modesty
**I feel impressed to say here that this way of teaching of modesty is not based of any doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is entirely speculation of parents, teachers, and leaders. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. It is based on love, grace, agency, and forgiveness. But because imperfect humans have the responsibility of teaching this Gospel, things are sometimes explained incorrectly.
***That may or may not have been the most strangely worded sentence I have ever written
****This whole thing being said, I do not think any less of women who dress immodestly. I do not think that all women who dress immodestly don't respect themselves. I believe in dressing modestly, but if you don't, that's fine.
When I turned twelve and entered into the Young Women program at our church, modesty started to become an even more emphasized topic. I don't think I could possibly count the number of modesty lessons I've had in my life. However, I could definitely count on one hand the lessons I've had where I went away feeling good about dressing modestly. Every single other time, I've left feeling completely overwhelmed with what is expected of me as a woman. I have been told by many church leaders that I will be held accountable for inappropriate thoughts boys may have about me if I am dressed immodestly. As young LDS women, we have all been repeatedly taught that it is our responsibilities to keep boys' thoughts pure.
While it true that we can all help each other be better- and maybe being modest is one way to do that- no one will ever be held accountable for someone else's thoughts, actions, or feelings. This is a fundamental principle of agency, which is one of the most important aspects of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As a young woman, it's hard enough keeping my own life on track. It's absolutely ridiculous that we are taught in such a way that we feel responsible for anyone else's salvation, let alone an entire gender's.**
So, parents, teachers, and leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints:
Urge your young women to be modest. Teach them that they don't need to be immodest for boys to like them. Show them that you don't need to be immodest to be cute or fashionable or cool. Help them to believe that their spirits and personalities and minds are the most beautiful parts about them. Let them know that they are so much more than their bodies. Teach them to be modest because they should want to be respected. Help them realize that dressing modestly is something they should only do for themselves, because doing something for anyone else is not a good enough reason to do anything. ***
And now I speak to you, Young Women:
You are a wonderful and divine creation. You should want to demand respect from all people, because you deserve it. If you feel that your body is the only reason a boy will like you, I promise you that you are wrong. You will someday find a boy who will love you and want to be with you for your wonderful mind and beautiful spirit. Most importantly, if a boy ever treats you inappropriately, has an impure thought about you, or does anything you cannot control, remember that it is never your fault. You can only control yourself, and you will only be held accountable for your own thoughts, actions, and decisions. Yes, you should be modest. You should be modest because Heavenly Father has asked you to. You should be modest because you want people to notice your mind and heart and soul and humor and eyes and laughter and smile and ideas before they notice your body. You should be modest for you, not for anyone else.
It all comes down to this: Modesty is about self respect. It's about knowing you are more than your body. It's about respecting God's creations. It's about knowing who you are, where you came from, and where you're going.***
*Modesty, in this situation, means having a well-groomed appearance, with clothes are not revealing in any way. For more information go to http://www.lds.org/topics/modesty
**I feel impressed to say here that this way of teaching of modesty is not based of any doctrine of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is entirely speculation of parents, teachers, and leaders. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is perfect. It is based on love, grace, agency, and forgiveness. But because imperfect humans have the responsibility of teaching this Gospel, things are sometimes explained incorrectly.
***That may or may not have been the most strangely worded sentence I have ever written
****This whole thing being said, I do not think any less of women who dress immodestly. I do not think that all women who dress immodestly don't respect themselves. I believe in dressing modestly, but if you don't, that's fine.
Wednesday, October 30, 2013
I'm a Zoobie! ...Whatever the heck that is.
Okay so the vast majority of you know that I'm currently attending BYU in Provo, Utah. I've never experienced a love-hate relationship so strongly before in my life. BYU is awesome. I couldn't ask to go to a better school. But what the crap- this is so hard! I went from being a A-student in high school, to being excited to get a C on a test. How come nobody told me it would be like this?!* So somehow, college is simultaneously the absolute best and worst thing at the same time.
*A whole lot of people told me it would be like this. I just refused to believe them
Here is the one thing no one has EVER been able to tell me, though:
What the dang heckie is a Zoobie?
For those of you who are unaware: A zoobie is a name for a BYU student. Maybe just a female student. I'm not sure. I just know that people refer to me as a zoobie sometimes. I can't figure it out, and I'm fairly certain I never will.
But that's besides the point.*
* There's never actually a point, if you haven't figured that out already.
Here's the real deal at BYU:
Boys. (or girls. Whatever floats your boat I guess.)
Or so I'm lead to believe. Honestly, for a school so dead set on abstinence and all that biznaz, guys and girls sure as heck are obsessed with each other, and I don't quite get it. It's like there's something seriously wrong with you if you're not seriously dating someone/engaged/married by the time your 21. It's such a big part of the culture that I sometimes catch myself thinking things like: "Gee, I sure hope I get proposed to this year!" Or, "Wowza, I'd sure like to marry that boy!", or sometimes even: "Golly, look at that baby. I'm totally ready to be a mom." AND I'M ONLY 19 YEARS, 4 MONTHS, AND 9 DAYS OLD. And if you're not either married or engaged, you're obviously getting ready to serve a mission. Clearly, that's the only option. Here's a typical first meeting between me and someone else at BYU:
Me: Hey, I'm Jenna! Nice to meet you!
Other Person: My name is Other Person! So, how old are you?
Me: I turned 19 in June.
OP: So do you have a mission call?
Me: Nope.
OP: Oh, are you working on your papers?
Me: Nah.
OP: Oh, so you're engaged?
Me: Nope. Single as a Pringle*.
OP: Oh. Uh. Well. Goodbye.
Now not only is there something wrong with me for not being married at the ripe old age of 19, but there's clearly somethings extremely wrong with me for getting spiritual confirmation that I'm not supposed to serve a mission at the moment.
*I say this a lot, but Pringles are actually not single. At all. Weird.
So, welcome to the life of a single, non-missionary Zoobie just trying to figure out how to live, and maybe graduate somewhere along the way.
Hang on tight, kiddos.
Also, I pinky promise that I'm not going to be one of those posting every day/multiple times a day people. I'm not that vain or obnoxious*
*I am pretty vain. Also I'm pretty obnoxious. Just not THAT vain or obnoxious.
It's-it's-it's baaaaaack
The blog is back, twerps!
As we all know*, I'm the worst journal-er on the planet. Awful. Terrible. But I'm always thinking to myself, "Self, if you don't start keeping a record of your life, your future grandchildren aren't going to have the privilege of knowing about your life!" And then I think, "Maybe that's a good thing..."
*You probably actually don't know that, unless you stalk me and try to read my rarely-written-in journal
So, anyway, I'm starting this baby up for a couple reasons:
1. I'm also terrible at keeping in touch with people/responding to people who reach out to me. So lookie here and read all about my life.
2. Posterity deserves to know about this. Maybe they'll find solace in knowing that their great-whatever-grandmother Jenna Michelle was a freakin' weirdo.
3. In my Doctrine & Covenants class, we had to pick a doctrine to study for the semester, somehow keep a log of applying that doctrine to our lives, and then make a physical product of it. I'm hoping this blog can count as my log and physical product.
So, what's the project, Jenna?
Well, the doctrine I picked was Love. Specifically, Godly Love and how we can have it for other people. Like many others, I tend to be very secretly judgmental. Or maybe not secretly. Whatever. But I have a habit of getting really annoyed with people for very little reason, and I don't often just give second chances. That's what I'm trying to change. I've been making a conscious effort to find the good in all people- to attempt to see them as God does, and love them as He would.
So, people of the internet, with you as my witness, I vow to be more loving of all people from this day forward. Even the guy sitting next to me, who is playing his music really loudly. I love him, because I'm sure I've been the person with my music too loud many, many times. But I love him mostly because if I try hard enough, I can begin see him through God's eyes, and he is a wonderful and eternal being, with incredible and unimaginable divine potential.
So people, I am officially declaring Wednesday, as of October 30, 2013, as Loveday*.
Get pumped, people.
*I mean, I guess every day should really be Loveday. But you know, I'm just gonna blog about it on Wednesdays. Love people every day and stuff. That's a good thing.
As we all know*, I'm the worst journal-er on the planet. Awful. Terrible. But I'm always thinking to myself, "Self, if you don't start keeping a record of your life, your future grandchildren aren't going to have the privilege of knowing about your life!" And then I think, "Maybe that's a good thing..."
*You probably actually don't know that, unless you stalk me and try to read my rarely-written-in journal
So, anyway, I'm starting this baby up for a couple reasons:
1. I'm also terrible at keeping in touch with people/responding to people who reach out to me. So lookie here and read all about my life.
2. Posterity deserves to know about this. Maybe they'll find solace in knowing that their great-whatever-grandmother Jenna Michelle was a freakin' weirdo.
3. In my Doctrine & Covenants class, we had to pick a doctrine to study for the semester, somehow keep a log of applying that doctrine to our lives, and then make a physical product of it. I'm hoping this blog can count as my log and physical product.
So, what's the project, Jenna?
Well, the doctrine I picked was Love. Specifically, Godly Love and how we can have it for other people. Like many others, I tend to be very secretly judgmental. Or maybe not secretly. Whatever. But I have a habit of getting really annoyed with people for very little reason, and I don't often just give second chances. That's what I'm trying to change. I've been making a conscious effort to find the good in all people- to attempt to see them as God does, and love them as He would.
So, people of the internet, with you as my witness, I vow to be more loving of all people from this day forward. Even the guy sitting next to me, who is playing his music really loudly. I love him, because I'm sure I've been the person with my music too loud many, many times. But I love him mostly because if I try hard enough, I can begin see him through God's eyes, and he is a wonderful and eternal being, with incredible and unimaginable divine potential.
So people, I am officially declaring Wednesday, as of October 30, 2013, as Loveday*.
Get pumped, people.
*I mean, I guess every day should really be Loveday. But you know, I'm just gonna blog about it on Wednesdays. Love people every day and stuff. That's a good thing.
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