High Five for Friday!

Some of my favorite bloggers do this, and I thought I would be a good way to start more regularly blogging... and maybe serve as a journal-type thing for me since I cannot be trusted to really keep one.
Soooo High Five for Friday! Here are the top things from this week:


1. I was finally better by Monday!
For those of you who were unaware, I thought I had the stomach flu last week. I was so so so sick, and finally ended up in the ER on Tuesday night for what we thought was Appendicitis. Turned out it was actually an ovarian cyst that had ruptured. Let me tell you, I have never experienced that much pain in my whole life. I really did think I was dying. For whatever reason, it took me quite a bit longer to get better than I thought it would. By Saturday, I was feeling well enough to get off the couch and do thing, but I wasn't really feeling actually better by Monday. It was a really, really long week.

The drugs they gave me (hydrocodone + acetaminophen for you druggies out there) made me so so so tired. I really just slept for the whole week.  

2. I bought a giant bag of mini Cadbury eggs at work. Spring is good.

3. I also bought more otter pops! It's semi embarrassing how many otter pops I will eat in a day, but I'm proud to announce that I bought these on Saturday and I haven't even gone through half of them yet.

I just really love otterpops, okay. Also its going to be embarrassing how much this post is about food

4. I've had Chick-Fil-A so many times this week. Getting that restaurant in the CougarEat was the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. Best for my tastebuds and happiness, worst for my wallet and waistline.

5. MY DAD IS HERE! I haven't taken a picture of us yet, but he is here! In the flesh! I'm so happy!



Okay, I guess I'll go back to paying attention in class now.
Stay excellent, people.

Modesty: I Wasn't Done

A few months ago, I wrote a post directed at parents, teachers, and leaders of young women on the topic of modesty. Today, I've finally been able to collect my thoughts enough to write a companion post- this time directed at young men, their parents, teachers, and leaders.

Now, I've never been to a young men's activity, or sat in on a priesthood meeting before. I don't know a whole lot about what goes on in those settings. However, I do have a general feeling that modesty isn't something that's talked about a whole lot, other than that you should find and marry a girl who is modest, because you want a woman who respects herself, others, and the Lord. Sound about right? I thought so. I'm sure you've also been taught that you should avoid looking at girls who are immodestly dressed, as to avoid having impure thoughts about her. I bet you've been told that you should surround yourself with modestly dressed young women, and to encourage your female friends to dress modestly. I imagine you've been told that young women should be responsible to help you have pure thoughts.

And I'm so sorry that you've been taught these things. These ideas are so very demeaning to women, making all of us seem like objects for you to try not to sexualize too much... but don't worry, because you've been taught It's not your fault if you do. These ideas are also demeaning to you! Are you not more than your thoughts? Can you really not control the way that you think about a woman? Are you completely unable to see a young lady who is exposing more skin than you are used to as a person, as a daughter of God?
Maybe you can't. But maybe that's because you've been taught that you don't have to.

I'm not arguing against the idea that young men's brains may definitely be wired differently. It's possible that it is far harder for a boy to view a girl as a human being and not a sexual object when she is dressed immodestly. But are we not supposed to overcome the natural man? We were given agency and brains that are able to change for a reason. Why are we teaching young men to just avoid immodestly dressed women, when we could be teaching them to avoid impure thoughts on their own? I hate to be the one who has to say it, but woman who believe in dressing modestly are a major minority in the world. Young men cannot be expected to just stay in their houses for the rest of their lives to keep their thoughts clean, and neither can they claim it is the woman's fault if they do, because it is simply not. As I stated in my other blog post, a fundamental principle of agency is that you cannot be held accountable for another person's thoughts or behaviors. You may say that that also means a young man cannot be held accountable for his own thoughts when a woman chooses to dress immodestly, then. Let me try to put it another way:

Suzie decided to eat a bar of chocolate during class. Billy absolutely loves chocolate, and goes into a psychopathic rage and kills people whenever he sees chocolate. 3 people died because Suzie ate a chocolate bar. All Suzie wanted to do was eat her dang chocolate, but now she is being held accountable because apparently Billy was unable to control himself. Suzie no longer feels comfortable in eating chocolate, because she has to worry about every single human being who might go into a psychopathic rage if she pulls out chocolate which then sends her into a nervous breakdown about what other things she could be eating that might send someone into a psychopathic rage and so she just stops eating all together.

Okay, that may have been a little dramatic, but do you get what I mean? It's not fair that we are teaching young women to worry about everything they are doing that could potentially cause a boy to have an impure thought about them, while we teach boys that they should be catered to because they can't help their own thoughts. I feel deeply sad for all the young men that truly believe they are not able to control themselves.

You are more than your thoughts, young men, just as young women are more than their bodies.



If you want to read an awesome satirical article on this, click here.

Life as an Over-Sharer

Those of you who have interacted with me for even just a few minutes know that I am a ridiculous "over-sharer". I tend to make a lot of details about my life very well known*, and am generally very open an honest about how I'm feeling.** Through my experiences with having just about every detail of my life as public knowledge, I've learned a lot about my self, and about other people.
 *Thus the blog
**Some would call me dramatic. I would say I own my feelings. 

First of all, I'd like to point out that there are a couple different types of over-sharers. The first is the True Attention Seeker. Unfortunately, this type give the rest of us a bad reputation. This is the person that raises their hand in every single class they take to share their personal story that may or may not have a vague connection to the lesson. This is also the person who you met 5 minutes ago and suddenly they're telling you all about their gastrointestinal issues. No one likes his person. If you don't think you've ever met a True Attention Seeker, it's probably because you are one.

The second type of over-sharer is the Genuinely Friendly. They're that friend that just talks all the dang time. You really can't get them to shut up. While their intentions are almost always good, you often find them annoying because they tend to bring the conversation back to themselves. This is never for attention-seeking purposes, but because their way to relate to you is to share a story of a time they felt the same way. They also do want to hear about your life, just aren't always sure how to ask. Tell your own stories. Make them listen to you. But, give Genuinely Friendly a break. They really just want to be your friend.

The last type of over-sharer is the Secretly Awkward. These people over-share because they have no idea what to say. They may or may not have some social anxiety, and really do not like awkward silences. In order to fill the space, they share a somewhat unnecessary fact or story. They often don't actually want to the attention, but once they start talking, the just can't stop. We're talking major word vomit, here. When Secretly Awkward is talking a mile a minute about the one time they lost their keys for 15 minutes, they're probably begging someone else to take over the conversation deep down.

I see myself as a solid mix of Genuinely Friendly and Secretly Awkward. I tend to just talk seem to be unable to stop, even when my brain is screaming SHUT UP YOU IDIOT at me.

As an avid observer of humankind, I've learned a lot about what kind of a person someone is according to how they react to over-sharing. It takes a special person to deal with not very interesting stories, but the biggest indicator of the quality of the human is how they react to story re-telling. We all know that story re-telling is boring, especially when the story wasn't very exciting to begin with. But, when your whole life is out in the open, you start to run out of new material to tell. Re-telling happens a lot with over-sharers.

There are also 3 different types of people classified on how they react to retelling. The first type is the Rude and Dismissive. Rude and Dismissive will immediately cut off the over-sharer and not-so-nicely say that they've already heard the story. This is not the type of person you want in your life. If they can't handle hearing a story more than once, they probably can't watch movies over again. I don't trust anyone who hasn't watched their favorite movie enough to quote it word for word. They're also probably just not a nice person. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.

The opposite is the Weak and Timid. This is the person who listens to your entire story over again and never tells you that they already heard it. They try their hardest to feign interest, but have a difficult time doing so naturally and seem way too excited about the time you accidentally called your teacher "Mom". This person, though they have the best of intentions and just wants to be nice, is not the greatest friend to have. You never know what Weak and Timid might allow because they're too afraid of confrontation. They could be allowing someone to run a drug cartel out of their home and have no idea. But worst of all, they enable your over-sharing.

The happy medium between the two is Good Friend. Good Friend lets you know kindly that they've already heard the story. They still show interest in your life and embrace your over-sharing but sometimes tell you to shut up.They know when to let you talk and when to interrupt. Good friend probably has it all together. They match their socks and drink enough water every day. You really look up to Good Friend and love having them around.


Be a Good Friend. Give us over-sharers a break. Unless they're a True Attention Seeker, then you can roll your eyes all you want. But still be nice.

Hate Isn't Worth It

Today, in my hurried walk to campus, I passed a man on the corner of the street right before you enter BYU campus, holding a sign that said "Jesus Saves! Jesus is God!" and screaming at all the BYU students going past. I could see him from pretty far away, and immediately tried to come up with an alternate route that would still get me to work on time. This was not my first time encountering a man like him; in fact, it was the second time this week alone. Usually, I just ignore at them and continue on my way. However, on Tuesday this week, one of these men stood in front of me, blocking my way to the sidewalk, and screamed in my face that I would be going to Hell if I stepped foot on campus. To say I was a bit shaken up would be an understatement. Instead of engaging in an argument with the man, I took a deep breath, smiled, and just said "Excuse me, sir. I need to get to class." I'm sure he kept screaming at me, informing me of what a disastrous mistake I was making by going to school, but I put my headphones in and kept walking, fighting back anger. The interaction bothered me all day. I know from past experience that it's best to not engage in these situations. Bible bashing with someone who feels strongly enough to stand on a street corner and scream at college students doing nothing but trying to get to class on time will most likely get you nowhere. I've seen people try to talk to these men, and nothing good ever comes of it. I knew I had done the right thing by just leaving, but my mind kept wandering back to the situation, and I've felt the fear, sadness, and confusion over and over again over the past few days. I had no choice but to walk past the other man today. There was no other way for me to walk to campus without being late to work, so I bit the bullet, kept my head down, and walked past. As he yelled at me that I had "abandoned all that is holy", I said a prayer to help me keep my cool. Even though I had many, many words going through my head I could have said back to him, I turned, smiled and said "I hope you have a great day." I, again, have no idea if he said anything back to me, if he heard me, or if he even cared. But I realized that I did genuinely hope he had a good day. Even though I didn't agree with how he was going about sharing his beliefs, I was able to appreciate that he is a child of God. I was able, for a brief moment, to look past the hate and see his divine potential.

I'm not telling you this story to show you how wonderful and how Christlike I am- because that experience was not me; it was an answer to prayer. It was Divine intervention. Heavenly Father opened my eyes in that instant to be able to see His child the way He does.

That being said, I would like to address the issue of these "protesters" in general.

During the 2012 Presidential Election, I became extremely concerned with the way my peers, and even worse, the other generation- the "adults" in my life, interacted with people who believed differently from them. The messages and blanket statements of hate haunted me. I couldn't get on Facebook without wanting to delete everyone I was friends with. During that time, I tried to adopt the mantra "Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate". It stuck with me. Every time I feel tempted to say another viewpoint is "wrong" or "stupid" (even if it actually is), I have to remind myself that you will never change someone's mind by alienating them. You will never convince someone to believe one way or another by informing them of how idiotic their ideas are. Treating someone with love, care, and service is much more likely to convince them to change their mind. Now, would I have really listened to these men if they approached me with a warm hug and a plate of cookies? Probably not. Mostly because of stranger danger issues, but also because my faith in my own religion is firm enough that It would take whole a lot to change my mind, and nothing they could say would accomplish that. But, it would have been much easier for me to take the time to listen to what they had to say had they just been kind.

Bottom line:  As Christians, we are supposed to emulate Christ. Christ wouldn't post a demeaning Facebook status or tweet or blog post about how wrong another group of people are. Christ wouldn't stand on a street corner yelling at innocent students just trying to get to class on time. Christ would bless them. He would serve them. He would love them. And we can, too.*

*If you're not a Christian, you can still be nice. Being nice because Christ was isn't the only reason to be nice. Be nice because humans are humans and you want people to be nice to you, too. 

First Week of School: Part 5 (and also some exciting news)

Another first week of school has come and gone, and I am just plum tuckered out.* It's always exhausting for me to get used to a new schedule, but for some reason I feel like this week felt like a day, but every day felt like a week. It probably has something to do with working at a different time than I'm used to. Since I got my job in July of 2012, I pretty much exclusively worked the 11-2 shift, with a brief stint in the 5-8 shift. I loved 11-2 because I could take a class before, and it didn't feel too early, and then could do a class or two after and still get home at a reasonable time. There was no way for me to do that this semester, so I'm working 2-5 MWF, and 9-12 TTh. They're both somewhat slow shifts, so I really just feel like I'm at work forever, either after a long day of class before, or knowing that I have a ton more class to go to afterwards. But it could be much, much worse. I'm so grateful to have had such a fantastic job for so long.

*In case you were wondering, I'm actually an 80 year old woman, which is why I use phrases like "plum tuckered out"

Classes are actually really good. I know it's only the first week, but so far in my college career, I've been pretty well able to tell if I'm going to like a class or not by the end of the first week. I'm taking Human Development, and while I wasn't necessarily extremely interested in the topic to begin with, the professor is fantastic. My ASL class is going to be really challenging, but with only 7 people in the class, it's really fun.* I'm also in a really great religion class. The teacher doesn't seem to be requiring too much, a problem that occurs in a whole lot of BYU religion courses, but is still making it an academically rigorous course. I'm unfortunately taking Physical Science, but there's no way to get out of that one. I love GenEds.  I think my favorite class is going to be Art for Elementary Teachers. Hands down. It's a long class- 5-7:50 pm on Tuesdays, but I love the topics we cover. And, we have to keep an art journal! Basically we're supposed to just draw something two or three times a week. Seriously. Right up my alley. So I'm really excited for this semester! We'll see how long that lasts...**

* I'm actually amazed at what the class sizes are at BYU. For a school of 30,000+ students, I've been in a lot of classes with 30 or fewer students.
**Probably up until my first midterm. Or next week. 

And now for my news!


I started a vlog, people! Because you clearly need to hear more from me. I mean, obviously this is not enough. I just posted my first video last night... go watch it if you haven't already!

www.youtube.com/TheNugget



You are all beautiful humans! Thank you for being in my life.

Smooches,
Jenna

The Quickest 2 Weeks of My LIfe

Well here I am. It's Tuesday, January 7th at 3:45 p.m. I'm back in my old haunt*, the Jesse Knight Building (JKB) on BYU campus. I'm back in the swing of another semester, sitting on my favorite bench while waiting for my next class to start.

*Seriously I used to live in the building. Summer term 2012, I had all of my classes and church in this building. I rarely went anywhere else. i didn't even know where the testing center was until October 2012. Embarrassing. 

While I love having a regular schedule again, I'm really missing Christmas break. For whatever reason, I had 3 weeks of break last year (I'm told this was a fluke... BYU usually only has 2), and I'm really feeling the absence of that third week. I cannot believe that I'm already back to school, when it feels as though I finished Finals yesterday.

Break was wonderful. Even though we were all sick for the majority of it it, I still had a blast and loved getting to hang out with the whole family, and it was so nice to have Hayden home for his first Christmas after his mission.

Christmas Eve pajamas. Cute face, Hayd. 

Because we're unable to take a picture where we all look nice. 

Nice. All hail the ugly  fabulous Christmas sweater. 

The only "good" picture from Christmas day. Dinner with some of my favorite people

We were coordinating quite well. We had to take a sibs picture, of course. 

And the crown jewel of pictures form break. The reenactment photo from Christmas 1997. Clearly not much has changed.  Also I've apparently I've been cross-eyed my whole life. 

Anyway, Christmas break was wonderful. Getting home was terrible. We almost didn't make our flight and I almost got an ulcer from it. Actually I think I did get a stress induced canker sore. Stupid airport. Stupid weather.* But I'm back in Provo! Getting ready to go into my Art for Elementary Teachers class**. I'm pumped. Bring it on, Winter 2014.***

*It was -44 (with windchill) at one point when I checked the weather for home. That storm was just hitting right as Hayden and I were trying to leave. Actually pretty thankful I'm not there right now. Way too cold. 
** How awesome does that sound? My supplies are seriously a sketchbook, colored pencils, watercolors, 2 pencils and an eraser, and a sharpie. No book. I cannot wait. 
***And by "bring it on" I actually mean please be easy. Please. 

You Do You, I'll Do Me: A Response Rant

So many of you have probably seen the article floating around the internet entitled "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged Before You're 23. (http://wanderonwards.com/2013/12/30/23-things-to-do-instead-of-getting-engaged-before-youre-23/)

Just in reading the title, I was a little put off. While I'm all for owning your single-ness and not just waiting around for "the one", I don't think there's anything wrong with getting married young- if you're doing it for the right reasons. And there are right reasons. So I had a feeling that this article was going to be a bit negative and pessimistic- and I sure was right.

It was probably one of the more rudely written, shaming and all around negative articles I've read in a long time.

And let me point out here that I think the author, Vanessa of Wander Onwards (www.wanderonwards.com), has a valid point. Getting married young just for the heck of it is never a good idea. Getting married young because your friends are doing it, or because you met him yesterday and you think you're in love, or because it's Tuesday and what else is there to do is not a good idea. If that were her only point, I would have no problem with the article at all.

However, and I could be misinterpreting what her message is here, she is essentially saying that no one under the age of 23 is ready for marriage.

And that's a load of crap.

Sure. A lot of young people aren't ready for marriage. But a lot of people are. The beauty of people is that we're all different. We all mature at different rates. We all figure out who we are at different times. We all find love at different points in our lives and we all settle down at our own pace. The author says:  "...at the age of 22, I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life.  And that’s awesome." If that's "awesome" for you, that's great! I'm happy for you. But someone else at 22 may know who they are, they might know what they're doing, and if they've decided who they'll be doing it with, that's "awesome" for them! 

And while I take issue with the "my experience is definitely the same as everyone else's" situation going on here, that's not my real problem with the article. My real problem is the following paragraph:

"I have begun to notice a common thread amongst all these young unions: inexperience.  Inexperience with dating, traveling, risks, higher education, career direction, SEX, solitude, religious exploration, etc… and it’s insane that I have already experienced more of the world in the last 22 years than my married peers will ever experience in their life."

Who are you to decide that? Who are you to say that because you're a self-proclaimed "wanderer" that you have experienced more than your married peers will in their entire lives? Marriage does not mean you stop doing things. Marriage does not always mean that you have to sit in your house while your husband works a 9-5 job, take care of the kids, and make sure dinner is on the table when the bread-winner gets home. And while I definitely agree that one needs to know themselves before committing to another for eternity, being inexperienced isn't necessarily a bad thing. Are you unable to travel with a spouse? Can you not receive a degree if you're married? Is it really horrible that a person be inexperienced with sex when they marry the (hopefully) only person they'll have a sexual relationship with for the rest of their life? Inexperience does not equal immaturity. Inexperience does not mean an inability to commit fully. Marriage does not take away your ability to experience.  

Now, let's discuss your actual list:
(anything I've added is bolded)

1. Get a passport.

2. Find your “thing.”

3. Make out with a stranger.

If that's not your style, don't do it. If that's your style, go for it I guess. Do you. 

4. Adopt a pet.

5. Start a band.

6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.

Do my baking abilities disappear after marriage?

7. Get a tattoo. It’s more permanent than a marriage.

So many things to say here... Just no. 

8. Explore a new religion.

9. Start a small business. 

10.Cut your hair.

11. Date two people at once and see how long it takes to blow up in your face.

This is just not a good idea. When I say "do you", I mean "do you as long as what you're doing doesn't hurt anyone else"

12. Build something with your hands.

13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.

14. Join the Peace Corps.

15. Disappoint your parents.

Not sure why you'd want to do this on purpose

16. Watch GIRLS, over and over again.

17. Eat a jar of Nutella in one sitting.

18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.

19. Sign up for CrossFit.

20. Hangout naked in front of a window.

21. Write your feelings down in a blog.

(check)

22. Be selfish.

I think humans are already pretty selfish by nature, but last I heard this is a pretty undesirable character quality. 

23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese New Year.

Okay, we get it. You've done some cool things in your life. I mean, eating an entire jar of Nutella in one sitting is a feat. And I bow to you if you're actually done that. You want people to experience these cool things, too. But maybe I want to get married, not hang out naked in front of a window. Maybe I've found the person I want to be with for the rest of my life so I don't feel any need to date two people at once and see how long it takes for it to blow up in my face. Maybe I actually believe that my marriage is more permanent than a tattoo. So thank you for the suggestions, and that's totally great for you if that's what you choose to do. You do you. I'll do me, though. And maybe that means I'll get in engaged before I'm 23, maybe that won't happen until farther down the line. But, I'll do it whenever I feel ready, thank you very much.