Those of you who have interacted with me for even just a few minutes know that I am a ridiculous "over-sharer". I tend to make a lot of details about my life very well known*, and am generally very open an honest about how I'm feeling.** Through my experiences with having just about every detail of my life as public knowledge, I've learned a lot about my self, and about other people.
*Thus the blog
**Some would call me dramatic. I would say I own my feelings.
First of all, I'd like to point out that there are a couple different types of over-sharers. The first is the True Attention Seeker. Unfortunately, this type give the rest of us a bad reputation. This is the person that raises their hand in every single class they take to share their personal story that may or may not have a vague connection to the lesson. This is also the person who you met 5 minutes ago and suddenly they're telling you all about their gastrointestinal issues. No one likes his person. If you don't think you've ever met a True Attention Seeker, it's probably because you are one.
The second type of over-sharer is the Genuinely Friendly. They're that friend that just talks all the dang time. You really can't get them to shut up. While their intentions are almost always good, you often find them annoying because they tend to bring the conversation back to themselves. This is never for attention-seeking purposes, but because their way to relate to you is to share a story of a time they felt the same way. They also do want to hear about your life, just aren't always sure how to ask. Tell your own stories. Make them listen to you. But, give Genuinely Friendly a break. They really just want to be your friend.
The last type of over-sharer is the Secretly Awkward. These people over-share because they have no idea what to say. They may or may not have some social anxiety, and really do not like awkward silences. In order to fill the space, they share a somewhat unnecessary fact or story. They often don't actually want to the attention, but once they start talking, the just can't stop. We're talking major word vomit, here. When Secretly Awkward is talking a mile a minute about the one time they lost their keys for 15 minutes, they're probably begging someone else to take over the conversation deep down.
I see myself as a solid mix of Genuinely Friendly and Secretly Awkward. I tend to just talk seem to be unable to stop, even when my brain is screaming SHUT UP YOU IDIOT at me.
As an avid observer of humankind, I've learned a lot about what kind of a person someone is according to how they react to over-sharing. It takes a special person to deal with not very interesting stories, but the biggest indicator of the quality of the human is how they react to story re-telling. We all know that story re-telling is boring, especially when the story wasn't very exciting to begin with. But, when your whole life is out in the open, you start to run out of new material to tell. Re-telling happens a lot with over-sharers.
There are also 3 different types of people classified on how they react to retelling. The first type is the Rude and Dismissive. Rude and Dismissive will immediately cut off the over-sharer and not-so-nicely say that they've already heard the story. This is not the type of person you want in your life. If they can't handle hearing a story more than once, they probably can't watch movies over again. I don't trust anyone who hasn't watched their favorite movie enough to quote it word for word. They're also probably just not a nice person. You don't need that kind of negativity in your life.
The opposite is the Weak and Timid. This is the person who listens to your entire story over again and never tells you that they already heard it. They try their hardest to feign interest, but have a difficult time doing so naturally and seem way too excited about the time you accidentally called your teacher "Mom". This person, though they have the best of intentions and just wants to be nice, is not the greatest friend to have. You never know what Weak and Timid might allow because they're too afraid of confrontation. They could be allowing someone to run a drug cartel out of their home and have no idea. But worst of all, they enable your over-sharing.
The happy medium between the two is Good Friend. Good Friend lets you know kindly that they've already heard the story. They still show interest in your life and embrace your over-sharing but sometimes tell you to shut up.They know when to let you talk and when to interrupt. Good friend probably has it all together. They match their socks and drink enough water every day. You really look up to Good Friend and love having them around.
Be a Good Friend. Give us over-sharers a break. Unless they're a True Attention Seeker, then you can roll your eyes all you want. But still be nice.
No comments:
Post a Comment